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a triumphant return [Sep. 24th, 2009|11:47 am]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Hello old friends! You know doubt wondered at my long absence. The truth is, after we lost our dear Johnny (whom I grudgingly admit can write with slightly more talent than a wet mop), Shelley and I decided it was best to part ways. He returned briefly to England I believe, whilst I continued onwards to Greece. Now I am returned to my charming villa and have invited him back as well, if he does not mind my menagerie.

What has prompted this return? What could possibly bring me back from the black ledge of despair, and kindle my cold heart to passionate warmth once more? One thing, readers, and one thing only:

Not only am I not in the latest Romantic Period Drama, the detestable Miss Brawne has actually gone on record telling that overblown dwarf Keats that his poetry is better than my own! 

War is to peaceful a word for the violent thoughts my heart now harbors.
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brighter than bright [Feb. 26th, 2006|10:12 pm]

Shelley has night terrors when you aren't around. He'll kill me for mentioning, but Mary wrote me a lengthy letter insisting something be done. Apparently it is very unpleasant to be awoken at all hours by a bed companion who insists on thrashing and shrieking like a wee sissy lass. (Between you and me, this description fits Shiloh perfectly.)

I miss you terribly, Keats. I hope reviews haven't killed you. Without you our epic trio is in shambles; how did we manage without a Keats? Oh, do come back my
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(no subject) [Nov. 6th, 2005|11:35 pm]
Lord, I can't believe I remembered the password to this journal. Alas, my friends, these were happier times than have come upon me! While I am no longer the corpulent monstrosity I once was, my steady weight loss has platoed and - what's worse - my beautiful Augusta is still far from me, perverted by my horrible wife. I curse the day I called her my Princess of Paradox, and may she rot in fiery hell.

Hobby and I have quitted the Alps in favour of Italy. Oh, that's one good thing that's happened since last I posted: I had sex with 200 women! In one night! It was sublime. But I miss my dear Shiloh, that dear modern Prometheus, and his hearty clan of oft perishing offspring and generally bat shit females.
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LIFE IS BLEAK [Feb. 22nd, 2005|11:52 am]
I miss my sister. O! Augusta! Why won't you write to me? Is it because my wife has poisoned you against me? Treacherous woman! She'll get what's coming to her...*seethes*

I also miss Percy. Remember those days when we went sailing together? And that day on the wall? *sniffles* I'm so alone without you! Only you ever really understood me! Hobby is a terrific bore and refuses to bathe. How is dear Will-mouse?

I even miss Keats. What happened to you? What happened to the good old days when you'd update, or comment about bread? I...I loved you, I think.

I'm a mess. Where the deuce is my soda water? I'm getting so WONDERFULLY skinny! You envy; admit it! But it's all for naught. Who's left to admire my lithe and supple frame? I'm getting old. And I hate everything. I'm going to go shoot something now, and when I return, I expect everything to have returned to normal.
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a summer's day [Aug. 7th, 2004|09:20 pm]
The Alps proved an unusual place to be. Hobby and I had an enjoyable time; our guide fell so often that, giddy from the thin air, I laughed hysterically and soon tumbled after him. No one was hurt. Except poor Polly Dolly. You won't believe this but we saw him wandering the Alps, bankrupt and without a friend in the world but a sick dog he had taken as a companion. Most odd.

Towards the top the air became so thin that I'm not quite sure I was in my right mind. I thought I saw...or rather, no, for it does not do to speak of such things. My swimming, let us say, availed me in even that most unlikely of climes.

*shifty eyes*

Returning from our pilgrimage we were greeted by uncommon fair weather and Madame de Stael's famous soirees. I have been kept justly entertained. Last night after supper with my hostess I swear I saw Monk Lewis exiting the house. They are strange times we live in.

The Indian summer is unbearable hot here, but I am warned that when fall comes winter shall not be far behind and accordingly think to leave Switzerland someday soon. I have set my eye on Venice; France will not permit me enter due to the current political upheavels. O! thou fallen hero, Napolean! Our fates, our falls, our greatness is so similar.

*wistful sigh*
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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2004|02:21 pm]
What kind of bread are YOU? :o
by moondust313
Do you even like bread?
Describe bread in one word.
You are:pizza crust
You expire:crap.. you expired last week
We love your:surprisingly complex flavor
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Am at Alps. Hobbhouse still has not bathed. I think I may kill him...
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(no subject) [Jul. 25th, 2004|05:36 pm]
I apologise for my long abscence. I've been mourning the loss of Shelley, who insists on going to England to rescue his brats and finalize his divorce. I offered to take care of Mary whilst he was away, but he insisted on taking her. Oh well. At least Claire is gone now.

Hobby showed up just as my mood was getting bleak. We set out for the Alps presently, along with the vet I hired to replace the newly fire Polidori. And then I think I shall bid farewell to this land and seek out friendlier skies. Maybe I'll go east again. I've got plenty of friends in that direction, if none here. I wonder if Ali Pasha is still in power...oh well. If not there's always the Marci girls, although I'm sure they won't be at all appealing now that they've exceeded fourteen years.

I am all alone. But at least it is sunny. I am always more religious on sunny days. Of course, "more" is really a relative term in this case...
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NOT a natural woman [Jul. 14th, 2004|11:18 am]
For those of you who have read Shelley's journal, I regret to inform you that for once he is telling the truth. No, that was not a laudnum induced hallucination, nor was it a mirage brought about by too much time in the sun. It all happened, exactly as he said it did.

And yes, I look quite fetching in my new jacket.

Yesterday Hobbhouse, Matthews, Jackson and some of the local youths and I went out for a ride. We didn't return until it was well past dark, and I fell into an instant slumber, and dreamt that the sun went out and lo, we were all pretty fucking screwed then. I've only just woken up, so shaken, as it were, that Polidori has not only given me a large amount of some unmarked substance, but has insisted upon oiling me down and giving me a full body massage.

It took all my skill to escape the man. He has the strongest fingers of any doctor I've ever met, but also the most...invasive...manner of administering care.
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going a roving [Jul. 13th, 2004|10:49 am]
I've been ever so caught up with life lately. Mostly with how much I hate it. Haven't seen Shelley in a while, but we're getting together today. (I plan on forcing him to attend an Italian Opera. You wouldn't think those were at all good, but they really are. Really.)

Keats, wherever you are, you've begun to worry Percy. He worries quite easily, and when he does, tis a horrible thing to see. I've recieved a number of letters in the past couple hours detailing how fretful he is that something awful has happened to you. I told him it was rubbish. What on earth could possibly go wrong with a young man of no means living in a foreign country and battling a fatal disease?

Claire the loon snuck into the villa last night. I'm still not sure how. I woke up with her draped half across my chest and snoring. My God, that was unpleasant. I pushed her out of the bed - gentley, as she is carrying my child - and had the servants escort her to a guest room.

And you know what that little bitch did? She snuck right back on into MY room and started professing her love. I finally felt so bad for the creature that I let her suck me off. By that time it was about four in the morning and I decided there was enough light for her to find her way home.

Let no man say I am not without mercy.
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Mrs. Byron furiosa [Jul. 12th, 2004|03:03 pm]
Lo. I loathe the woman. I wish my father hadn't run off to live with Auntie and then die all sick and cold-like. We could have had all sorts of adventures together.

I'm feeling much better. Apparently, I owe my health to Shiloh and his Prometheus-like skills. If so, many thanks. Let's go boating sometime old chap.

I'm in a state of general annoyance. I think I'll climb the alps. It would work wonders for my health, I've no doubt. Percy, why don't you come on? And Keats; I imagine you'd gain quite a lot from the journey.
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